Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fatty likes his Burgers.

New York City has it's perks. One of which is instant gratification. You can get everything from a 3 course meal to fast food delivered to your door pretty much 24 hours a day.

The happy medium between the two are diners. They're everywhere, they're affordable, and If you find the right one you can get a nice meal at a reasonable price. I'm not saying these diners ever use the best ingredients, what I'm saying is that when you're hungover, and couldn't bear to feel even more disgusting by eating fast food... They're an option which can hit, or miss.

About a week ago I ordered eggs benedict for delivery from a local diner, and it was FANTASTIC, eggs poached to perfection, hashbrowns nicely browned, suffice to say I really enjoyed it. So much so I didn't even think to blog about it. Maybe next time:)

So I decided a few days later while nursing a rotten hangover to order a cheeseburger and chips with a drink from the same place to see if maybe they could hit the bulls eye twice and make my hangover go away in the process.

My order arrived as usual, some poor immigrant guy biked a few blocks to my place, I gave him the obligatory decent tip and a smile since these guys usually wash dishes AND do deliveries and get paid jack shit.

I opened up the wrapping and I was faced with this.


Now before I even tasted a chip (french fry whatever). You can actually see in the picture what the problem is, and one of the main reasons I decided to write this. The chips were soggy. In the history of man necessity has always driven innovation, and I think it's about time someone did something about the necessity to have decent chips delivered. I mean they're basically impinging my human rights giving me these chips. I almost rang the Samaritans. I was not only hungover, I was now depressed.

These chips truely were minging, and reminded my of the chips you get delivered from Chinese places in Dublin. They made me pine for Leo Burdocks and Beshoffs, for drizzles of salt and fountains of vinegar... ok maybe not, but you get the idea.

So... I'm calling on all you great minds out there on the internet to devise a method of transporting chips from one location to another, without the steam ruining them.
I've had this problem with other foods too, like wings, spring rolls, pretty much anything that should be crispy, but the one I think we can all identify with is the chips issue. Mizzoni garlic bread I'm staring right at you.

There are people claiming to have solved this issue, but until I get proof and not waffle like this load of old bollocks, I'm going to consider it very high on the list of problems man has yet to conquer. Man on moon, check, chip problem......... unsolved:(

However the burger was very tasty, cooked medium rare as requested, juicy and grilled so it had a nice char. Bun was soft, tomatoes and lettuce and onion all were in the right quantities so nothing slipped or fell out. It was a little greasy but I can't really can't fault it for that considering it's a CHEESEBURGER.

The only issue I had to apply the ketchup myself and I don't like pulling apart a burger after the cheese has melted but that's a minor quibble. I like the word quibble. Quibble.

Burger porn below.


Autopsy shot:


Highline Cafe, 360 9th Ave, New York, NY, 10001.

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